Thursday, February 18, 2010

The New Journey with Beth Moore

In 2009 it was Scripture memorization. This year it is a journey through Beth's new book, So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us. There are about 6,000 women taking part in the weekly reading and "discussion". Already, I am excited to see the number of women participating, as well as the honesty with which they are answering the discussion questions. I am blessed to witness some very brave women stepping out of their comfort zones to find healing.

If any "Siestas" stumble onto my blog via the LPM blog, just know that I hold you in the highest esteem and pray that God will do a mighty work in each of our lives as we journey this road to security together.

My own struggle with insecurity goes way back to my childhood. Actually, I can't remember a time in my life when I haven't wrestled with it in some form or another. It has changed faces through the years, but it is most definitely a bad friend, no matter its disguise. The childhood days carried with it taunts about my big hair and being overweight. The teen years, much the same, added on the experience of rejection that became eerily consistent. My twenties allowed for a time of growth and healing in some areas, but deeper insecurity in others. I entered my thirties by getting married. Married life has made old insecurities resurface and given others a whole new platform from which to grow. Whew! I am exhausted just thinking about it.

Now I am in my fourties and I have four children added to the mix. God has been dealing with my heart for some time, but I didn't realize just how bad things were (in regards to insecurity) until I became a parent. Anger was the tell-tale sign that something was just not right. So, I began to go deeper with the Lord in search of an answer to why I was so mad all the time. That's when I began to see the pattern of rejection and failure that has been a constant companion for far too long. I have read many books, sought good Christian counseling, and talked to God often in my desire to heal and grow to be a secure woman. There have been break-throughs and break-downs and I am sure there will continue to be more, but I am not the woman I used to be. I am also not the woman I will become. That gives me hope. So here is a shout out to anyone who is dealing with insecurity. It is worth the effort to overcome. When you fall down or get knocked down, get back up. God is always there to give a hand. Actually, if you are His child he always has your hand anyway. Psalm 73:23 says, "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand." If there were ever a thought to help with insecurity, maybe that simply profound phrase could help. You (the God of all creation) hold me by my right hand....